Today while I was in the library, I happened to glance at a piece of writing on the editorial page from one of the mainstream English newspapers. Its all about some tea plantations matter and its striking beginning was indeed eye-catching, like "Nothing can never sooth my mind than the panoramic view of tea plantations or something"
As I finished reading that beautiful article , I reminded my last solo trip to one of the well known hill station in South India , Kolukkumalai. Since its a nearest location, I decided to trekk it on without resorting to any outside assistance or any help. I usually go out alone and I always liked being a lone traveller , still too, in my life and I don't know why. But I have inexplicable reasons for such because every journey ,to me, is not at all a mere one but a search for something that I don't know. On that very day I intentionally skipped food and water supplies because I had already trivialized its gigantic height and I felt like it was a kind of spiritual walk to me because I don't know still what drove me into such peaceful adventure trip. All of a sudden I made my decisions and rest was a thrilling story.
My motorbikes' condition was too bad enough to climb that hilly path where the pebbles and biggy rockers strewn all over like a hidrence exactly like that we see on some adventures channel sport programmes. At first the security didn't allow me to pass by since I was all alone and looked like a weired one , May be. I waited for some time thinking how can I sneak into it because I badly needed to go and see its real beauty as it is.
After a couple of minutes, I found him busy dealing with the Jeep drivers those were about to climb the hill. My old motorbike roared without losing any time and the fact was luckily the gate was kept opened. I drove my bike suddenly onto the path that leads to the hill, without even noticing him and his allies. Oh dear its a superb "sneaking into" mission and after then I pulled over my bike near to a Temple. I looked at the never-ending chain of hills, oh God , Its going to be a hard journey indeed.
I have never attempted such in my life time but anyway the good news is that I made it finally. I kept on walking up the hill as the jeeps passed me with all gravness, making diplorable cries. After an hour I felt my heart started pumping heavily as if its gonna burst. My heart ached so wildly and I knew every breath I took shrinked like anything. I even wondered what would have happened that moments' hearts aches would turn horribly into a serious attack or something. "I would smile and embrace my death with all emotional excitements" I laughed at such possibility and resumed my walk musing over my death. To me death matters anything with my present search for sane thoughts because what I need now is some peace only through some self inflicted punishments, not in a level that the present views regarding such, so I'm no busy thinking about that permanent cessation from this life. My legs started giving terrible strains but I managed it somehow. I remember I had one of lady teacher did the same sadomasochist matters whenever she got upset and I said her no and warned her. But I was in the dark that times and now I realise it's blissful fruits and I repeat no violence.
To me, life was not just a simple miracle but a painful reality, and a blissful experience too. I had been making troubles with my precious mind consequently it derailed at times and I badly needed such cures to find the real trials, the real aches of life thereby an eternal salvation and I was actually letting me to go through such hard realities of life. and I became more humble I presume.